My Journey Journal
Entry 1: January 2, 2017
Hello there! This month, we are trying something totally new on my blog. My first main idea for this blog was to be centered around my journey through becoming healthier and fitter while managing my intense anxiety disorder. So, that is exactly what is going to happen from here on out. Happy first Monday of 2017 and let’s get started!
This is NOT a New Year New Me Sort of Deal
I don’t do New Years Resolutions. I haven’t had a New Years Resolution since my early teens and do not plan on starting to have them now. That is not what this is. This is a systematic life change over the course of a year to better my health. This is a journey that I have already started and have put on hold too many times.
Today, I want to share with you my plans to create the life that I want to have in 2017. Honestly, I have already started putting these plans into action. In September of 2016, I started my blog. In November, I started a small virtual assistance business. This last month, I quit my day job to work in Social Media Management full time. Also at the end of November, I took the plunge and hired a personal trainer to help me sustainably make my goals happen.
Now as the new year starts, I’m ready to kick my business life, personal life, and physical and mental health into high gear. I’m going to get clients for my virtual assistance business and make a living from that, work out five days every week, take control over my disordered eating, and blog my mind and body’s transformation right here on Becoming Jordan.
This is going to be hard for me for so many reasons. This is going to be my fifth attempt at losing my weight. Every other time I’ve stopped because the emotional aspect of losing weight got to be too much. However, every time I’ve tried to do this so far I’ve kept silent about what this feels like for me and have gone at it completely alone. Not this time. This time I am being completely open and honest about my weight loss journey every step of the way. I’m not going to sugar coat anything. I am scared but I am ready.
My Worries Going Into This
I have two giant fears staring into my face as I go into this: how I will look afterwards and how emotionally unstable I will be during the weight loss.
Now, I’m not doing anything dramatic. For the first six weeks of this leg of the journey, I won’t even be cutting calories. Just tracking them and working out. However, I have realized in this past month that I use binge eating as a crutch. Binge eating has become my way of dealing with my anxiety and without doing it, I’m anxious all of the time. That is going to be the first thing I have to conquer through this.
Secondly, I feel very awkward and very vain even typing this, but I’m so nervous about how I will look after I do lose the weight. Just this past year, I started being more comfortable in my plus-size body and now I’m going to change it all up again. I’m nervous for the more prominent stretch marks, the loose skin, the possibility of surgery…
There’s So Much to Look Forward To
That being said, I’m looking forward to all of the other benefits that losing weight can offer. I’m ready to have more energy. I would love to have more strength and cardio endurance for hiking and swimming. Simply put, I also feel as though I was meant to be a thinner, more active person. My mind wants to go on all of these adventures and do all of this crazy stuff, but my obese body simply refuses to do it out of tiredness sometimes. So, I would love to fix that. I’m going to fix that.
It would mean the absolute world to me if you would join me on this journey. From here on out, Becoming Jordan is going to be more health and wellness centered to be more similar with my lifestyle. Content will be coming out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for now. In the spring, I hope to add in Tuesday and Thursday content as well. Check the homepage for updates on the schedule (as well as my Twitter and Instagram. Be sure to follow me there to be updated first!).
UPDATE: I took a month long break from posting to reevaluate where Becoming Jordan is going content wise and I’m pretty excited about what’s in store. I’m going to start writing “Journey Journal” entrees on Mondays and have more informative content coming out on Wednesdays and Fridays. YOU HEAR THAT? That’s three whole posts every week! AND ON TOP OF THAT I have a newsletter now! Be sure to sign up below!